Sip, Swoosh, Spit

Tea is one of those things that’s just there. You don’t ever worry about how it’s made.

Like shag carpet. And doorknobs.

However, on the (very early) morning of July 11, we drove to the heart of Ahmedebad to visit the corporate office of the world-famous tea manufacturer, Wagh Bakri. (Say: wog-bock-ree)

As you know,  first impressions are important and the fine people at W.B. definitely wanted to impress. So they made a welcome poster and put all of our faces on it.

Cute. Possibly creepy. Still deciding on that.

Anyway, after the obligatory “nickel tour,” we got down to the good stuff: advertising campaigns! Now, it’s not very often that you get to talk to a company about their marketing and I loved the chance to learn from these guys.

What? You haven't eaten fruit cake with pure silver on top? Pfft! Peasant... (Ahmedabad, July 2011)

First off, they really know their Indian consumers. They’ve spent a lot of time researching consumption habits and know all the little things. Stuff like, housewives drink most of their tea in the morning, right after everyone leaves for school and work. Couple that insight with an exceptionally creative execution and… BAM! Addy-worthy, baby. (Do they have Addy’s in India? Whatever. Never mind.)

Interestingly, the management at W.B. seemed to have the flawed perception that tea is viewed as an archaic beverage. They’re actually afraid to market tea in the U.S. out of fear that it will not sell. Hmm.

And finally, my thoughts on this tea-lightful trip (Yeah…) wouldn’t be complete without mentioning the harrowing tale of the tea taster.

That’s right, the tea taster. As in, someone who tastes tea for a living. Sure, sounds innocent enough, right? Wrong…. Terribly wrong…. All kinds of wrong, actually.

Here’s how it went down:

With a terrible slurping noise that reverberated throughout the room (and to this day, my mind), this Lord of the Tea swiftly picked up a saucer of tea, swooshed it in his mouth, lined up the shot, then fired the offending liquid from his mouth into a large, metal spittoon.

I died. For the last week, I had seen plenty of bodily functions carried out in plain sight. However, it was this simple act that I reacted to. Eww.

Final thoughts:

• How does one become a tea taster?
• Has he ever miss the spittoon?

Ehh, they still gave us an awesome lunch, complete with a dessert coated in pure silver (Jealous?).

Oh, and they gave us a nice, cup of tea to drink.

No spitting necessary.